CBT Counselling in Saskatoon: What Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Actually Looks Like

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, usually called CBT, is one of the approaches I use in counselling.

At its simplest, CBT looks at the relationship between what we think, feel and do. Those three things affect each other, and sometimes they can create patterns that are hard to get out of.

That doesn't mean every difficult feeling is caused by "thinking negatively." Sometimes you are angry because something genuinely unfair happened. Sometimes you're grieving because you lost someone important. Sometimes anxiety makes sense given what you've been through.

CBT is more useful when we get curious about what happens next.

What did you tell yourself about the situation? What did you assume the other person meant? What happened in your body? What did you do in response? And did that response actually help?

Those are the kinds of questions we can work with.

A Simple Example of CBT

Imagine you send someone a message and they don't respond.

One person might think:

"They're busy. They'll probably get back to me later."

Another person might immediately think:

"They're ignoring me. I must have done something wrong."

And someone else might think:

"They're disrespecting me. I'm not putting up with that."

The event is the same.

But the meaning each person gives it can create very different emotions and behaviours.

One person carries on with their day. Another becomes anxious and sends several more messages. The third gets angry and sends something they later regret.

CBT helps us slow that process down enough to see it.

CBT Isn't About Convincing Yourself Everything Is Fine

This is one of the things I think gets misunderstood about CBT.

The goal isn't to replace every uncomfortable thought with a positive one.

If something is going badly, telling yourself everything is great probably isn't going to help.

Instead, we might ask:

What evidence do I actually have?

Is there another explanation?

Am I treating a possibility like a certainty?

Am I assuming I know what another person is thinking?

Would I interpret this the same way if I wasn't already angry, anxious or exhausted?

Sometimes the original thought turns out to be pretty reasonable.

Other times we discover that our brain filled in a lot of blanks.

That little bit of space can give you more choice about what happens next.

Cognitive Distortions

CBT sometimes uses the term cognitive distortions for predictable ways our thinking can become inaccurate or overly rigid.

A few common examples are:

All-or-nothing thinking: Something is either completely successful or completely ruined.

Catastrophizing: Jumping quickly from something going wrong to the worst possible outcome.

Mind reading: Assuming you know what another person thinks or intends without actually knowing.

Overgeneralizing: Taking one experience and turning it into a rule — "This always happens," "Nobody respects me," or "I'm terrible at everything."

Emotional reasoning: Assuming something must be true because it feels true. For example, "I feel rejected, so they must be rejecting me."

Most of us do some of these sometimes.

The point isn't to catch yourself "thinking wrong." It's to become better at noticing when your interpretation of a situation might be making things harder.

CBT for Anger

CBT can be especially useful in anger counselling.

When someone says, "I just snapped," it can genuinely feel like the anger came out of nowhere.

Usually, when we slow the situation down, there was much more happening.

Maybe you interpreted something as disrespect.

Maybe you felt controlled.

Maybe you thought your partner was deliberately trying to provoke you.

Maybe you felt embarrassed, rejected or powerless and anger took over very quickly.

We can look at the situation almost frame by frame:

What happened?

What did you notice?

What did you tell yourself it meant?

What happened emotionally and physically?

What did you do next?

What happened because of that response?

Understanding that chain doesn't excuse harmful behaviour.

It gives us somewhere to intervene.

CBT for Anxiety and Stress

Anxiety often involves trying to predict danger before it happens.

Sometimes that is useful. Our brains are supposed to notice risk.

Problems can develop when the brain starts treating uncertainty itself as danger.

You might notice yourself repeatedly asking what if, avoiding situations, checking for reassurance, replaying conversations or preparing for outcomes that haven't happened.

Those behaviours can make anxiety feel better temporarily while strengthening it over time.

CBT can help us examine those cycles and gradually experiment with responding differently.

CBT for Depression

When people are struggling with depression, the behavioural side of CBT can be just as important as the thinking side.

Depression often pulls people away from things that once gave them connection, accomplishment, enjoyment or structure.

Then life becomes smaller.

And when life becomes smaller, there are even fewer opportunities to feel better.

Sometimes our work starts with very small changes: getting out of the house, reconnecting with someone, returning to an activity, rebuilding routine or doing something despite not particularly feeling like doing it.

You don't necessarily have to wait until motivation returns before taking action.

Sometimes action helps motivation return.

What Does CBT Look Like in a Counselling Session?

I don't usually sit down with someone and announce, "Today we're doing CBT."

It tends to be much more natural than that.

You might tell me about an argument from earlier in the week, and we slow it down together.

I might ask what went through your mind at a certain point.

We might notice that the same belief keeps appearing in completely different situations.

We might test whether an assumption is actually accurate.

We might look at what happens when you respond differently.

Sometimes I'll give you something specific to practice between sessions. Other times the useful part is simply becoming better at noticing the pattern when it happens in real life.

I use CBT alongside other approaches rather than trying to fit every person and every problem into one therapy model.

Is CBT Right for Everyone?

No single form of therapy is right for everyone.

Some people really like the practical and structured parts of CBT. They want to understand a problem, learn some tools and start experimenting with doing things differently.

Other people need more space to understand relationships, trauma, identity, grief or experiences that don't fit neatly onto a worksheet.

Often we can do both.

Therapy should fit the person rather than expecting the person to fit the therapy.

CBT Counselling in Saskatoon

I provide individual and couples counselling in Saskatoon and use CBT when it fits the person and the issue we're working on.

Some of the areas I commonly work with include:

• Anger and emotional regulation

• Anxiety and stress

• Relationship conflict

• Grief and loss

• Addiction and recovery

• Trauma

• Communication and boundaries

• Patterns of behaviour you want to change

I offer in-office counselling in Saskatoon on Sundays, as well as virtual counselling and walk-and-talk therapy throughout the week.

I also offer a free 15-minute consultation if you would like to talk briefly before deciding whether to book.

You can reach me at TheListeningTherapist@gmail.com or 306-361-5830.