How to Choose the Right Therapist in Saskatoon

Finding a therapist can be weirdly difficult.

There are a lot of counsellors in Saskatoon, and if you spend enough time looking through websites, they can start to blend together. Most will talk about being compassionate, non-judgmental, client-centred and evidence-based. Those are all good things, but they don't tell you much about what an hour with that person will actually feel like.

If I was looking for a therapist, I'd probably start with two questions: Do they have experience with what I'm dealing with, and do I think I could actually talk to them?

You don't need to know what type of therapy you need before you book.

Most people don't come to counselling saying they need a particular therapeutic model. They come because they're angry more often than they want to be, their relationship isn't going well, they can't shut their brain off, they're grieving, they're struggling with substance use, or they keep finding themselves in the same situations.

A therapist should be able to take it from there.

I would look at their background and get a sense of what kinds of problems they actually spend their time working with. Two people can have the same degree and professional registration while having completely different experience.

I'd also pay attention to how they describe therapy.

Personally, I don't think a list of therapy acronyms tells a client very much. I have training in different approaches and use ideas from several of them, but I'm usually more interested in understanding what is happening with the person in front of me.

If someone tells me they keep blowing up during arguments, for example, I'm curious about the whole thing.

What tends to be happening in their life when these incidents happen? What makes certain situations especially difficult for them? What did they think their partner was doing? When did they first notice themselves getting worked up? Did they feel disrespected, controlled, rejected, embarrassed? What did they do with that feeling?

Then we start figuring out where there might have been another option.

Sometimes the work is practical and skill based. Sometimes we're dealing with beliefs or patterns that have been around for a long time. Sometimes someone needs room to talk about something painful without immediately turning it into a problem to solve.

Usually it's some combination of those things.

That's probably a better description of how I work than giving you a list of therapy models.

The person you're talking to counts for a lot

You are going to be telling this person things you probably don't discuss with everybody.

You should feel reasonably comfortable with them.

I don't mean that therapy should always feel comfortable. There are times when counselling should challenge you.

My own style is fairly conversational. I want to understand how something makes sense from your perspective, but I'm not going to assume that understanding means agreeing with everything you did.

A lot of my work has involved people dealing with anger, addiction, relationship problems and harmful behaviour. In those conversations, I think you have to be able to hold two things at once.

A person can have very understandable reasons for reacting the way they do and still be responsible for what they did.

On the other side, people can also carry an incredible amount of blame for things that were never really theirs.

Part of therapy is sorting some of that out.

You should be able to disagree with your therapist too. If they misunderstand you, you should be able to say so. If something they're doing isn't useful, hopefully you can talk about it rather than quietly going along with it for six months.

Ask them what therapy with them actually looks like

This is one of the reasons I offer a free consultation.

You can ask questions.

You can tell the therapist what's been going on and ask, "How would you work with something like this?"

I think their answer can tell you quite a bit.

They don't need to have a perfect treatment plan after a 15-minute conversation, but you should come away with some idea of how they think and whether you can picture yourself working with them.

And if you're not feeling it, you don't owe anyone a second appointment.

Sometimes a therapist can be good at their job and still not be the right person for you.

A little about me

My own background includes addictions treatment, primary health care counselling and violence intervention work.

Because of that, I do a lot of work around anger, relationships, addiction and recovery, grief, difficult emotions, communication, accountability and patterns people want to change.

I tend to look at people in context rather than reducing everything to a symptom or diagnosis. What's happening in your relationships, what you've learned over the years, what your body is doing when you're overwhelmed, what you believe about yourself and other people, what's happening around you, and what kind of person you're trying to be can all be part of the conversation.

Some clients want concrete tools.

Some want to understand themselves better.

Most want a bit of both.

I currently offer individual and couples counselling in Saskatoon, with in-office appointments on Sundays and virtual and walk-and-talk counselling throughout the week. I also work with clients using private insurance and NIHB coverage.

If my way of working sounds like it might fit what you're looking for, you're welcome to start with a free 15-minute consultation.

You can reach me at TheListeningTherapist@gmail.com or 306-361-5830.